The Hottie & The Nottie (12A)

2:38pm Thursday 27th March 2008

There's a rather sweet romantic comedy buried deep within The Hottie & The Nottie, a modern day fairytale about an ugly duckling who emerges from her shell and turns out to be a swan.

Unfortunately, you have to wade through wooden performances, crass writing, heavy-handed moralising, limp gags and schmaltz. The effort vastly outweighs the meagre rewards.

And that's before Paris Hilton jogs into shot in slow motion, wearing a pair of running shorts and a top that clings to every exfoliated, tanned pore, as the film's titular object of physical perfection.

In a role that amounts to 91 minutes of self-promotion, the perky blonde socialite whispers each line of dialogue as if it were some deep philosophical revelation.

"A world without orgasms is like a world without flowers," she coos dreamily.

In stark contrast, Christine Lakin's Nottie is a grotesque figure of fun, with just a flicker of humour and warmth.

There's nothing remotely endearing about the character, so when the time comes for her metamorphosis into the real romantic lead of the film, she requires a complete personality transplant.

The Hottie & The Nottie feigns an interest in redefining the stereotypes of female beauty but Heidi Ferrer's script simply re-enforces the idea that a girl can't land a guy - even a dork - without buffing away the imperfections that make her unique.

Comedy/Romance. Joel David Moore, Paris Hilton, Christine Lakin, Adam Kulbersh, Johann Urb, The Greg Wilson