SHAKESPEARE once asked what's in a name? Apparently a lot of embarrassment if it happens to be Cock, Jelly, or Bottom according to a new survey.

But Swindon Cocks and Jellies say they are proud of their names and its only other people who are embarrassed by them.

Most people have had the mickey taken out of their name at some point - it is an easy target.

I got off fairly lightly - there aren't too many things you can say about Tye, in fact they were so rubbish I've forgotten them all.

My friends and I even went through a phase of calling each other by a shortened, or slightly altered version of our surnames, so we became Chalkie, Sav, Dope and - well Steph (can't really do much with Tye).

At school we were quite cruel to one supply teacher (I won't name her but those who were there will know who I mean) calling her Mrs Bent-bum and Mrs Bent-banana behind her back because we thought it was cool.

But last week's story about the most embarrassing surnames got us thinking I what other names would send you beetroot coloured every time you heard/said them?

Cue everyone in the newsroom trying to come up with the most ridiculous names they could.

They included Ivor Windybottom, Kurt Enrod, Annette Curtains, Paul Bearer and Ann Teak.

Sadly, there is not one person in the country called any of those names - but we did find some others (and even thought up suitable jobs for a few).

First of all, and possibly a future author of a book entitled 'Shorter Skirts' is Mr Seymour Legg, also with the same surname is limb specialist Dr Tony Legg.

Miss Nora Bone would make an ideal dog warden or steak house manageress while Hazel Nutt would be the perfect chocolate bar tester and Norman Conquest would probably be an impressive politician.

Then to round off our little fantasy there is reserve football goalie Justin Case, nurse practitioner Drew Blood and professional thief Robin Banks.

Millions see my photograph

THINKING of things that made me smile this week there was one obvious event staring me in the face - Grumpy the Cat.

The vicious little tabby who had been terrorising the residents of Coriander Way for four months was finally brought to justice last weekend, and I was there to witness the final farewells.

But it wasn't the fact that the residents could now sleep in peace at night, or the fact that Grumpy would be getting a good home that made me smile. Oh no.

It was the fact that the picture I took made it into a handful of national newspapers.

Now, I'm not usually one to gloat but I think most people in my mobile phone book and email address book heard about it.

It is a very proud moment in a trainee reporter's life - when one of their pictures is seen by millions of people across the country - putting it like that it's actually quite a scary thought.

And the fact the national papers all referred to it as Coriander Road instead of Way just made me smile even more.